Did yall notice it's been a whole YEAR since I've posted a Clean Your Mirror post despite these being my highest rated series O_O How did yall let me get away with going so long without em, lol. If anyone is new here, please feel free to catch up on past vulnerable post here: How to Clean Your Mirror Series
If I am being total honest...which is what these posts are about for me; I've been ducking this smoke. I've been wanting to get things off my chest for a long time but get purposely distracted to avoid sharing what's on my heart and for me; if I "forget" it, it'll go away but in true fashion of getting the lesson, Gawd brings it back to remind me and so...here I am.
If you're an 80's baby and/or eldest sibling; you maybe entitled to some compensation becuz those Boomers had us striving for perfection whether it was work, relationships and so forth there was definitely pressure on IMAGE. Now is this going to be a rant or complaint as if we were abused to sit up straight n not act up "in front of the white folks"-NO! The flip side of that taught me how to be ambitious. What I will say is...having to always be on in ways THEY see fit can stifle our authentic selves and have us juggling so many balls **pun intended** that we find it tough making mistakes and embracing the mess in which helps us grow throughout the process.
As a parent of boys, I strive to keep open communication and engage in mommy/son dates with Mason where we can have open dialogue n no judgement becuz I didn't have that with my parents and I want him to be comfortable talkin to me-not like I'm one of his lil' friends but as guidance in a different form of mothering. In these last 18 years, I've been learning to unlearn perfection which isn't about lowering standards yet letting go of the pressure to be flawless and accepting that good enough isn't a failure.
I know my parents have always wanted the best for me and know the meaning of the sentiments being a mom. However, I can't ignore how I felt not wanting to disappoint them or the flip side of being rebellious becuz I knew I wouldn't meet the mark so I might as well go balls to the wall **definitely pun intended** to shed the need to be perfect. Now I was not a bad kid n respected my elders; I just always knew I had a different way of thinking and while THEY paved the way n walked down many roads, I wanted to detour in other directions. My dad would always want me to do sports-yes, let's all laugh together at the thought, lol. My mom never really put major expectations on me early on and allowed me to be my creative self-within reason! They've both taught me to be a leader n not a follower with the infamous strive to be the best adage.
I guess I've been such a secret rebel tip toe-ing into what THEY want me to be; I've grown to learn...unlearning perfection opens up so many doors for growth—doors that we might’ve never dared to knock on when we were caught in the trap of always "doing it right." While yes, I am aware of the roads THEY've taken before me and I now comfortably take a different route with the knowledge of right n wrong AND being optimistic that the wrong just miiiiight be my right. I embrace failure as part of the journey knowing mistakes are just stepping stones to success becuz I learn from them and regroup.
One of the biggest benefits is the freedom to be your true self, without the constant fear of judgment or the pressure of impossible standards. A simple step in unlearning perfection? Practice self-compassion. You can't win 'em all. Instead of looking at mistakes as flaws, reframe them as opportunities to learn. It’s about being kind to yourself, forgiving your imperfections, and realizing that growth doesn’t happen in a straight line. People may see me and have a perception of who I am based on what I post. I smile becuz I'm grateful. I laugh to remind myself to not take life so serious when it can be worse n as perfect as you may think I reflect-I too am flawed. I too have working tear ducts (ask my friends, lol) and I don't move at any pace to chase anyone's validation.
So, if the mirror you’ve been looking into reflects unrealistic expectations based on what someone sees fit for you, maybe it’s time to wipe it clean and see yourself for who you truly are—flaws, freedom, and all.
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