I wasn't sure to classify this under my Clean Your Mirror Series vs Fan Mail but figured since it has been apart of my evolution over the years n there's some vulnerability up in this piece-why not. This post has been sitting in the back of my brain since I've received comments over the last year or so that request me to "show more skin". Becuz I aim to please, I wanna dedicate this "segment" to do just that n honor the request w/bearin it all-here! So be sure to put the kiddies up n turn on ur sexiest slow jam playlist cuz it's gonna get steamy...
How did we get here? If u are new here, I have no time to catch u up. U can rewind n scroll throughout my social platforms starting from today n goin back as far as Black Planet days n what u will not find is Noods of any kind, lol. Sorry to disappoint cha. If that's what u stayed for, feel free to hop off the train now before we depart the station...
I am very much aware in the social media world in order to get likes; the posts that show more skin n less clothes are likely to get more attention than me holding a flower in a caftan or post it note with a profound quote-BORIIIIIING!! In order to get ur attention there has to be a grab or something that elude's to SEX. In order to make a long post less long, lol, I'll say this...as women ESP Black Women, we are overly sexualized n fantasized about as is n I have no desire to feed into that part of the social world.
Even tho' I get offers when I randomly post my feet, lol, please don't look for me to have an Only Fans (I created an account n paused at the bank info part haha). There's just some things my integrity won't allow me to do. While the fans request for me to show more skin, I didn't take it in a disrespectful way (especially without a deposit) n figured THEY clearly don't follow me enuff nor know me in the real world. This is where lines get blurred becuz my social media isn't just "for the gram" n I don't look for likes to validate my being online. This shyt is bigger than Nino Brown...
I am Forty Three and as an 80's baby who grew up in the 90's...our mama's (and Auntie's) didn't play that shyt. We also grew up amongst an actual community which meant...even someone who wasn't yo mama could have not really a say so but remark on correction. I've stated many times, my mother has heavily influenced how I dress becuz she was an example in the home. Other women who've made an impact on my style include EnVogue, Whitley Gilbert from A Different World, Cassandra Clark from 227, Dominque Deveraux from Dynasty n u couldn't tell me I wouldn't grow up to be in Vanity 6 becuz I had a crush on THE Denise Matthews.
Those are just a few who've made an imprint to represent sophistication n class. They've all been able to show what sexy is without u even seeing their love below (ok don't include Vanity) but for me....the mystery is the draw n the imagination is what's sexy. I can recall as early as middle school to where the girl voted "Prettiest Girl in the Class" came up to me n said the boys voted me as the "Sexiest Girl" n I had no idea how or why becuz I didn't dress scantily clad n felt quite goofy as a teen. The image of sexy in my head involved being naked or wearing something tight to show the form. Honeychiiiiile, I was in my Left Eye baggy jeans era lol. The tomboy look was IN.
As I grew up, I'd later understand my middle school superlative title **giggles** becuz sexy is way more than what ur eyes see yet we use it in such a way to describe the outer being. It's why we have "Sexiest Man or Woman Alive" magazine covers n why when we got dressed for the club, we'd wear "Come Hither Couture" haha. What I've come to learn is, I ain't gotta show shyt to get shyt n while we grew up to "use what we got to get what we want" there's clearly more than one way to skin a kitty!
To address the concerns of such fans who get disappointed they have no idea what I look like underneath **cue evil laugh** I absolutely LOVE it this way. I prefer the boring side of alluring u to think u know but uncertainty kicks in becuz I come at a different angle but the chase of trying to figure me out is sexy! I'm not modest for religious reasons or insecurities. I just want to take pride in how I represent not just for myself but my kids. I know how important it is to see the image at home n I'm mindful of this. It's beyond honoring my parents but myself first. I'm comfortable fresh face n naked in the mirror. I'm also confident in the woman who continues to evolve with a greater understanding n lessons of life even with bumps n bruises along the way. This is how I'm able to carry myself in such a way to where I can stand next to the most naked-ess of them all n get attention, if not more than.
I'm eccentric, I'm moody, I love color n embrace all my imperfections. How I show my skin is being true to myself n sharing that how I see fit online. I'm much better to experience offline, lol n you'll like see me fully naked in person haha. I have no qualms sharing personal stories to those I trust n have the ability to decipher who's just being nosy. There's absolutely no judgement to those who choose to share their bodies online. You'd be lucky to get me in a bathing suit, lol. I just know how to show my azz without showing my azz.
I will say...when ur in the modern dress club, lol, it can be a lonely road becuz it's not popular. I feel like the more trash our culture promotes the more my aethetic becomes obsolete n I become an alien. Totally reminds me of this Twilight Zone episode!! This new world full of "I...I...I.." and "Me...Me..Me" we forget we have a duty to those coming behind us to represent n also be mindful of our image tainted within the media. I'm the eldest of my siblings so I've always been in a position of leadership n whether we ask for it or not, WE ARE role models to someone.
Who know's how I would've turned out had my mama dressed in the manner of Cardi B n had me WAP'n throughout the house out loud or if Whitley kept her tongue always AHT'n n AYE'n :P or if Ms. Deveraux twerked n tossed tables becuz the champagne was burnt-LOL!! Who knows...but as much as we love to stress how representation matters; I just wanna be the images I want my young nieces to strive for n not have my sons bring home...well that's another story, lol...yall know how M.O.B can be!!
So I am flattered n quite honored to receive such requests for me to show more skin cuz it's an image not many can say they've seen which makes u apart of an elite group IF u ever get a glance n since we all love exclusive shyt to see my nudes online would be like catching a four leaf clover ;)
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