My monthly check in posts for November was delayed n I figured I'd do everything in one swoop to catch up becuz it feels as though I've abandoned my blog space and social media presence. In my head...I've peeked in, I just haven't made the time to pause n lock it in to post. I love yall too much to leave yall in the dark.

My October was booked and I enjoyed my weekends. Visiting my bestie in ATL for the Usher concert was the highlight of the month and I was pretty much coasting until I received devastating news that has shifted my life and brings me to why I've been so off more than on. In a nutshell, I've been dealing with transitioning my grandma due to terminal cancer. She is (speaking of her in the present tense at the moment) a breast cancer survivor n we've recently learned it's come back aggressively and spread throughout the body which means the family is making preparations for me to reference her past tense shortly.

So yes, I've been emotional n distraught at grieving what will be the loss of my grandma. If yall have been with me for a minute, she's been incorporated in my lifestyle so much as I visited her often on my weekends and yea...I am getting emotional n crying all over again BUT YEA...if I seem distant or less responsive-that's why! Just taking a breather to handle family affairs and for my upcoming hibernation season figuring out how to NOT fall into the depths of darkness n depression dealing with loss. Being totally honest...no I am not ok and I appreciate the love n support throughout the ordeal of folks checkin' on me.

I already have a hard time dealing with holiday season as I reflect on the year and living life without my mom so I have another angel to the roster n I've been having random breakdown moments for the past few weeks as the days been rolling closer to closer to the ending. PLEASE DO NOT call n ask me how I am doin...I am not doing fine at the moment n it will surely trigger a bucket of tears becuz I am so fragile. Thank you for the love in advance!! I will not be in a rut too long nor allow the devil to keep me in a state of weeping. I am allowing my body n mind to rest as needed n listening to those whispers to relax n breathe. Yall know me, I don't wanna walk around with frowns on my face and I can lay my grandma to rest knowing I gave her flowers while she was walkin the earth. No regrets!